


Of sore neck, boxed house, and music

by kettleowl



Series: Of thoughts [1]
Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Slice of Life, sad but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-03 03:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20257498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kettleowl/pseuds/kettleowl
Summary: Since moving out of Ugetsu's and in Haruki's, Akihiko had some time to thinkExcerpt: "It used to be like this: music was air, Ugetsu was water and Given was food."





	Of sore neck, boxed house, and music

**Author's Note:**

> I reread the manga lol

Sometime after he moved in with Haruki, Akihiko found himself unconsciously comparing Haruki’s place with Ugetsu’s. It was both the little things and the more-noticeable things, really.

That morning, he woke up. There was a crick in his neck because he was too tall to fit the sofa, which reminded him of the bed he shared with Ugetsu. Even through his journey of moving to different beds every week, Ugetsu’s was the softest bed Akihiko had ever touched. Ugetsu liked to spoil himself, and it showed even in his lifestyle.

Ugetsu had chosen the brand of mattress himself when he was small, he told Akihiko one day, after sex. He never changed the brand again when he needed to buy a mattress after that. More often than not, when he had to travel for concerts, he made sure to search for hotels with the same brand of mattress. “Brat,” Akihiko had said over his cigarettes, which only made Ugetsu laugh harder and bury his face into the pillow.

Whenever Ugetsu made a mess, someone would be there to clean it up for him. For the longest time, Akihiko was that person. He took care of Ugetsu. He only wanted to give Ugetsu the best. Akihiko still wanted to be that person. In return, Akihiko just asked for a little bit of kindness. He never got what he wished for.

Akihiko slept on Haruki’s bed before, on nights that he slept over, too drunk to go home. Or pretending to be drunk so he didn’t have to go home because Ugetsu had his boyfriend – sex friend – coming over that day. But he couldn’t remember how it felt sleeping on it. He thought that he might never have the gut or the cruelty to sleep on that bed anymore.

Another thing that was entirely different from Ugetsu’s place was the amount of light in the apartment. Haruki’s room was situated high enough that it wasn’t covered by surrounding buildings. When morning came, the sunshine made its way freely into the living room, currently also Akihiko’s room. He didn’t realize how much he missed watching the sunrise. He had actually forgotten so much that he kept staring at the sun until it hurt his eyes and he couldn’t help but look away. He would always notice Haruki’s concerned gaze whenever he caught Akihiko in that state.

Comparing to Haruki’s apartment, Ugetsu was basically a box. Located in the basement, the place barely had any light coming through the tiny windows. The place was also soundproof, the best kind there was. Ugetsu, again, liked to spoil himself. Being in that place was like being in a different world, isolated from outside. A world for two. And for music.

Akihiko couldn’t imagine his life without music, just like how he never imagined he could live without Ugetsu. He wondered if he could survive without Haruki, without Given, without his bandmates. He truly didn’t have any friends. It made him laugh, albeit a pitiful one at that.

For the longest time, music had been his whole life. Everything was revolved music, whether it was the violin or the drum. Akihiko heard this once: humans could survive for 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food. It used to be like this: music was air, Ugetsu was water and Given was food. This long without Ugetsu, Akihiko wondered if he could live until the end of the third week.

At the same time, Akihiko had never felt so free since before he moved in with Ugetsu. Living in a box, you were bound to run out of oxygen at some point. Especially when both of he and Ugetsu were suffocating the others with their actions, intentionally or not. Living with Ugetsu, Akihiko thought, was the most painful thing he had ever done in his life. To be able to go outside and get fresh air, it seemed like a gift. Maybe that was why Ugetsu was always so easy to live with after he was gone for a period of time because of concerts.

With Haruki, life was much simpler. Their schedule was too different to eat together so Akihiko tried to make dinner. It was the least he could do, although he knew his cooking skills weren’t even half as good as Haruki’s. Music somehow always filled the house. One moment they were practising individually, the next Akihiko would unconsciously play along with the rhythm of Haruki’s guitar. Sometimes, when Haruki had time, he would watch Akihiko practising the violin. On weekend, when both of them were home, the radio would be on, the host’s voice and songs filling in the air between them. But the moment that Akihiko like the best was when Haruki hummed a random melody. He didn’t think Haruki notice it but whenever he was focused, Haruki started humming. Akihiko could recognize some of the beats, but most of the time, he would just let it all go and enjoy the melody. 

Akihiko thought that he liked this. A lot, actually. 

Unfortunately, again, he never got what he wished for. 

Something so nice was always out of his reach and he should keep his dirty hands to himself before he tainted and destroyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> But did Akihiko know that he was suffocating Haruki?


End file.
